Hiyo! Judge Lieberman here. Our last 24 Hours of LeMons interview was so much fun that we’re giving you another. This time with real LeMons racers. That’s right, time for you to bow before the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys and their red hot Peugeot 505. Why real? Because they’re running a French car in Goin’ For Broken (the Reno Race) while you’re playing fancy pants “real” racer wannabe in your cheatin’ E30 Beemer Miata. Tis true. Some of you may be familiar with the what happened to the Surrender Monkeys when they tried to just show up for at Arse-Freeze-Apalooza. For those too lazy to click links, they hit black ice and flipped their rig over, trashing both the trailer and the tow vehicle. But the bullet proof “Pujo” survived with nothing but nicks and scratches. Behold the power of French Steel and striking Algerian labor. Nothing says “real” LeMons car like a premptive crash! At any rate, team loudmouth Alan agreed to answer some questions. Another Cheese Eater also answered the questions, but we’re too lazy to look up his name. So let’s just call him Guy, non?

Judge Lieberman: Bonjour mon amis! Comment alles vous? Ce va? Bon! Let’s get down to brass tacks — do you think teams without French cars should even be allowed to race in LeMons?
Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Alan: Well of course since the French cars need something to beat. But please nothing normal and boring, just like a fancy dress ball teams should strive to show up in something no one else has. After all what’s the fun in being one of the 20 teams with an E30 or a Miata? Find something totally weird like a Tatra or maybe this thing (yes, that’s a real car). 
Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Other Guy: Of course non-French cars should be allowed. There is such a wide selection of European rolling garbage. Fiat and anything built by British/Leyland come to mind. I would have loved to find an Austin Allegro Equippe as a LeMon. Wouldn’t that have been glorious? They are, unfortunately, kind of hard to find in the States.   

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It’s often said that the real point of the 24 Hours of LeMons isn’t winning the race, but rather winning the Index of Effluency. This is the prize given to the car that does the most with the least; the team that goes the furthest with the worstest.  This, it’s claimed, is the real je nes sais quoi of LeMons. For any fool and his gang of (foolish) friends can grab a $500 E30 or Miata and with a little luck win the race. Hell, Baruth won a race driving some fancy-pants Toyota Supra, didn’t he? But only a (really foolish) band of brothers would put their faith in an Opel Cadet. An even dumber bunch of guys might field a Merkur XR4Ti. The massively brain damaged will opt for an 80s vintage Saab 9000 Turbo. Then you have the truly masochistic brave that think the key to glory lies between the rusty panels of a 1974 Alfa Romeo Spyder (For the record, all 4 of the cars just mentioned will be losing once precious fluids all over the track at LeMons South). Of course, not everyone agrees that the Index of Effluency is the be all and end all of $500 car racing. In fact, I argue it’s the Dangerous Banned Technology prize. See, you actually win money with the Index of Effluency. Dangerous Banned Technology is utterly pointless. In other words, the true spirit of LeMons. And who are the odds on favorites to win it this May at Goin’ For Broken in Reno? Why it’s the Sharks, of course.

Continue reading 24 Hours of LeMons: Sharks Go For Coveted Banned Technology Prize