The good people of the Midwest Automotive Media Association absolutely refuse to have yours truly as a member. I’m not a “general-purpose auto journalist”, whatever that means. Based on the people who do make the cut, I think “general-purpose auto journalist” means “polyester-and-denim-encrusted lard-butt who would PAX dead last in a regional autocross.” Despite this heart-breaking snub, I continue to attend their self-congratulatory annual breakfast at the Chicago Auto Show. The complimentary bacon is outstanding.

The mantra of the MAMA breakfast, repeated by each of the first three or four speakers every year, is this: “The Chicago Auto Show sells cars.” Presumably this is in opposition to the Los Angeles Auto Show, which sells tofu, the Tokyo Auto Show, which sells the panties of schoolgirls from a vending machine, and the Detroit Auto Show, which sells rape. I think it’s a convenient way to distract attention from the inconvenient truth that most manufacturers don’t bother to display new product at the show. With that said, it’s worth noting that the dirty business of actually selling cars was very relevant to the new products on offer. Let’s discuss.

Continue reading Chicago 2010: And the brands played on.

I don’t care about Toyota.  I haven’t for years. I’ve observed their place in the market and even expressed some degree of interest in a very small handful of their offerings over the last decade, but I’ve never really thought much of them one way or another. That may become a somewhat difficult assertion to defend after the next thousand words or so, but take my word for it.

See, many car enthusiasts care a great deal about Toyota. They’re the ones who take every opportunity to tell you how awful their cars are, how dreadfully overrated they are, and how lifeless and soulless and dishwasher-like they are. They tell you how cheap and how poorly-engineered they are. You want a Prius? This guy tells you to get a used Jetta TDI. Your mom wants a nice, reliable Camry? Tell her to get a Volvo! You like the old MR2s? Wise up and get a 944. You want a MkIV Supra turbo? Supercharge an old F-Body for 1/3 of the price.

It’s the same thing, you know, just without all that Japanese suck.

Continue reading Lord Byron — The Good Ship Toyota

In the foothills of Tucson’s Mount Lemmon, Toyota’s public relations staff delivered Utterli tragic news: a driving impression embargo would preclude live video microblogging coverage of the 2010 Prius. Crushed, I resolved to hike the mountain in the Prius anyway. Now that the embargo has passed, here are a few excerpts from my notes.

Continue reading Speed:Sport:Life First Drive: 2010 Toyota Prius