Story by Adam Barrera
Last week, in front of Congress and C-SPAN, Detroit forgot to bring their collective homework to class. As if a governmental grounding wasn’t enough, socially clairvoyant Saturday Night Live filled in Detroit’s blanks with a parodic infinite timeline of exorbitant quarterly bailouts. Today, the Detroit Three’s real roadmaps robbed the SNL skit of truth. Ford isn’t even asking for cash up front, just access to a loan in case the downturn worsens. Chrysler needs $7 billion by the 31st to stay in business — and isn’t speculating beyond that figure. Unlike SNL’s parody, the General asks for just two tiers of assistance in the most detailed — and realistic — outlook offered by the industry.